chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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