I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
