I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
