Girls should come with a carfax report
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
