Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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