I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize