so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
