wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
