Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
