I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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