I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
