I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
my poor anus
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
