How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize