everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
