Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I take back everything I said about communal showers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
