You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
