She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
