I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
