We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
