I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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