Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
