so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
