He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
