i was born a porn star she said
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Terrible idea I love it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
