So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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