Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
