Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
