It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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