i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I want a musical about memes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
