I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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