kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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