that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
