I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
