Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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