We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
