So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
