Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
