Nicole vs. Life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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