That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
