It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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