In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
