i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
