I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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