you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
