Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize