Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
