He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
