hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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