Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
