So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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