she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm both gender and math confused
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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