Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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