Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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