I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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