The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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