no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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