he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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