new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Still dying that you shit outside
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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