Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?