Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.