and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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