Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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