Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
